We are watching you: profiles in treachery
Subject Line: We are watching you: profiles in treachery
Text: We get a bad rep for some of our methods (hey, we have to make a living, and how are you going to prove that?), attitudes, and approaches. We are watching you, and we read the libelous things people post about us here and on other boards. And we almost have feelings. We definitely have lawyers. Squadrons of them, just so you know.
One thing we feel strongly about is loyalty. Think of it as a corollary to Bob Dylan's wonderful line "To live outside the (extradition) law, you must be honest" from his underrated song, Absolutely Sweet Marie. When it comes to our football, we are loyal and honest. We always bet on our team(s), and we always bet substantial sums of duckbucks. Sure, it helps to get the vig from the rest of you schmucks, er players, and that softens the blow for us when we lose our big bets on our favorite team(s). But remember -- when it comes to our favorite team(s), our motto is "Long and Strong." (this is a multi-purpose motto for many of us but let's stay on point, OK).
To reiterate, when it comes to our favorite team(s), Principle is more important than Principal.
Did we mention we were watching you? Well, some of our observations have been downright disturbing. We are noticing allegedly loyal fans "shorting" their team's stock. Understandably, we made a note of this. We are feeling generous and wish to share.
Shorting the Tigers: Last week, the big talking Texan, Tigre de Tejas, took Southern Miss. He won 40 duck bucks. We hope he feels good about that. We can imagine him rooting for Southern Miss to score its second touchdown on its 4th quarter drive. We can see him sweating the details as Auburn drove for its fourth quarter score and leaping for joy when AU had to settle for a field goal. This makes us sick. And when we feel sick, we usually contact one of our independent contractors. But a man who would stoop to betting against his team is not worth the IC's time, materials or effort. Also in this category: the right reverend Righteous Tiger himself, RT. He garnered 20 duckbucks for his infidelity. We note that the average winnings for these faithless players is 30 duckbucks. Not to be confused with pieces of silver. A complete coincidence, we are sure.
Let's turn to this week. Luckily, we have observed no instances of short plays for the Miss. State game. But we are watching. We mentioned that, we think.
There are some notable examples of short trading, however. The irrepressible ssimelo, whose duckbucks do not seem to follow his Rebellious mouth, has Samford and the points. We are sure this is in homage to former Auburn great and Samford HC, Pat Sullivan. More disturbing is droner's pick of UAB in the game with his Vols. We figured his wit and wine sensibility alone were conclusive evidence of a character we could respect. We are again disappointed.
But disappointment does not begin to describe our reaction to AUBIGJOE's pick in the Hilltopper v. Tide tilt. BAMMER MAY SUCK, but that does not keep JOE from risking 110 duckbucks (as many as he placed on his Tigers) on the Tide to cover an enormous number. We guess we will not be surprised when he PULLS THE LEVER FOR OBAMA, either.
We suppose this is a rather long-winded way of reminding you again that can (and probably should) edit your picks.
Similar reports will follow periodically. We are watching the Gators particularly closely, as they had to rely on an Urban Meyer RUTS field goal for coverage last week. Did you know that Coach Meyers plays the Pick Em? Can you guess his handle?
Long and strong, folks. Long and strong.