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Ignatius J. Reilly ( on 10/13/2008 - 3:44 p.m. says: ( 194 views , 2 likes )

"A Rant, Mostly Devoid Of Schemes And Ploys"

Edited by Author at 10/13/2008 - 3:49 p.m.

I have been to every home game this year save Southern Miss. I have watched every Auburn game at least twice thanks to Comcast other companies.

This season has been difficult at best, even for an optimist like me. This season has not been fun -- and not just because we have had some disappointing losses. This is a painfully hard team to watch when it has the ball. Attending the games feels more like work than play; more like obligation than passion. In other words, it is much like the lifetime relationships we forge with folks who become important to us. Sometimes, we have to hang in there as best we can and hope for better times.

But I want to bring up a topic that has been bothering me this season and reached breaking point against the Razorbacks.

It was very plain that a significant number of fans were booing Chris Todd on Saturday. Not booing the decision to send Todd into the game, not booing the plays he was asked to execute, but booing his performance, a performance I admit was poor for the most part. And that may be charitable.

If you are one of these folks, then I want you to know that you suck. And not just a little bit, either. I am talking call the #badword#ing Weather Channel serious low pressure/lower IQ kind of sucking. If I were king, you would be asked to turn in your Auburn credentials immediately. Then, I would ask Hobbes to start the blindfolded march, except that Hep would tell me you ain't worth killin'.

I don't want to hear how you were really booing the coaches or the play calling. The boos sound the same, regardless. I don't want to hear that tickets cost a great deal of money, and you have the right to express your dissatisfaction anyway you please. Or that you have a right to post psot. I will grant you that all of those things are true.

But they are irrelevant. You still suck. Harder than the proverbial Hoover Upright.

On occasion, it is alright to boo the officials when they blow a call. It is similarly alright to boo at the mere mention of the University of Alabama's athletics teams.

Sober Tiger was always bemoaning his beloved Auburn University turning into an NFL farm team. Well, Exhibit A to that case in chief is the booing of college athletes, especially Auburn athletes by alleged Auburn fans. You want to boo players; go see an NFL game.

So to summarize (with apologies to Semper for stealing some of his rhetorical style):

1) Booing players: you suck.

2) Booing coaches and play calls: you still suck. It is a strict liability tort, because no one can really tell what you are booing.

3) Booing referees and Bama: that's cricket.

Does this mean that you can't go on the internet, bitch with great fervor and call for the coaches' heads?  Not at all. Does this mean you can't complain at the tailgate about miserable planning, game day strategy, and execution? Of course not. Have another piece of chicken and a cold beer and vent. It is good for you.

It simply means that if you open your mouth at the game and do anything that could arguably be construed as booing an Auburn player, you suck. I mean you really, really suck. I am not kidding.

War Eagle.

War Eagle.


"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."

Jonathan Swift --"Thoughts on Various Subjects, Moral and Diverting" 


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