Message Replied To ==========
It's bammer week. What's the best bammer fan story you have?
Must be a story that encapsulates all the bammerness and can be used to show others a perfect glimpse into the life of a typical gump.
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AS TOLD BY BIG JOE TO THE MILLER BOYS AT LEAST 100 TIMES:
"SO ME, YOUR MAMA, YOUR UNCLE JOHN AND AUNT ANNETTE WERE AT LEGION FIELD FOR THE 1963 TIGERS VS. THE OLD DRUNK'S CHEATERS GAME.
WELL IN THE FIRST QUARTER A BAMMER PLAYER TAKES A CHEAP SHOT WITH A LATE HIT ON SIDLE (THE BEST RUNNING/PASSING QUARTERBACK TO EVER TAKE THE FIELD) AND BRUISES HIS RIBS. SO OUR BEST PLAYER, EXCEPTING FREDRICKSON, IS OUT FOR THE GAME- DUE TO THE OLD DRUNK'S CHEATERS TAKING A CHEAP SHOT. AND WE GO AHEAD 3-0 AT HALF TIME.
SO AT HALF TIME WE GO TO GET A DRINK WITH YOUR MAMA AND YOUR AUNT- THEY HEAD TO THE LADIES ROOM AND WHILE WE ARE WAITING ON THEM A BAMMER WALKS UP AND POINTS HIS FINGER AT YOUR UNCLE JOHN AND SAYS "YOUR HOTSHOT QB IS NOTHING BUT A PUSSY"
NOW YOUR UNCLE JOHN IS 5-7 AND 200 LBS OF MUSCLES WHO WILLL NOT PUT UP WITH ANY HORSE #badword#... AND HE ASKS THE BAMMER "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
AND THE BAMMER YELLS: "I SAID YOUR QB IS A P U S S Y!!"
WE DON'T SAY A DAMNED THING BUT WE BOTH WALK OVER TO THIS DRUNK SOB AND YOUR UNCLE JOHN GRABS HIM AROUND HIS CHEST AND I GRAB HIS LEGS AND WE HOIST HIM OVER THE RAILING OF THE RAMP HOLDING HIM BY THE LEGS AND DANGLING HIM SIX STORIES OFF THE GROUND AND SHAKE HIM. BY NOW HE IS FLAPPING HIS ARMS AND SCREAMING SWEARING AND PISSING HIMSELF AND CRYING FOR HIS MAMA.
AND IN A LOW VOICE YOUR UNCLE JOHN SAYS "YOU HAD BETTER TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID OR WE ARE GOING TO LET GO AND DROP YOUR WORTHLESS ASS ."
ABOUT THAT TIME YOUR AUNT ANNETTE AND MAMA COME RUNNING UP AND BEGIN SCREAMING AT US TO LET HIM BACK UP AND YOU UNCLE JOHN SAYS "NOT TIL HE APOLOGIZES AND TAKES IT BACK" ....WHILE THE BAMMER CARRYING ON TWISTING IN THE WIND.
BUT YOUR MAMA SAYS "IF YOU TWO DON"T PULL HIM UP TO THE RAMP RIGHT NOW WE ARE CALLING THE POLICE AND WALKING HOME."
SO WE PULL THAT SORRY SOB UP AND HE GOES RUNNING OFF SCREAMING ABOUT CALLING THE POLICE AND WE GO BACK TO OUR SEATS AND WATCH OUR DEFENSE EAT UP THAT SORRY NO GOOD WORTHLESS JOE NAMATH WHO PROBABLY SINGLEHANDEDLY RUINED THIS COUNTRY WITH HIS SHOWBOATING AND MOUTH. "
