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im4aubie
philosopher chef
(173.95.166.194) on 8/19/2017 - 8:21 a.m. says: ( 16 views
, 5 likes
)
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"LAY IT ALL ON BLUE!!!! SOME MAY CALL ME A HOMER, BUT THE REALITY IS I'M "
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Message Replied To ==========
Wayne. We are ready for the Pick Em to be back up.
We know you're busy with rat turds and other fascinating things.==============================
AWARE OF THE DAMAGE ABOUT TO BE INFLICTED ON SEC DEFENSES BY KAMRYN PETWAY. HES GOING TO RUN OVER THE BEST OF THE SEC DEFENSES LIKE GODZILLA OVER A MINIATURE CARDBOARD JAPANESE CITY. OPPOSONF FANS WILL ACCUSE AUBURN OF PAITING A NUMBER ON AN M1A1 ABRAMS AND LINING IT UP IN THE BACKFIELD.
KERRYON JOHNSON WILL APPEAR ONLY AS BOLT OF LIGHTING AS HE ZIGS AND ZAGS AROUND, THROUGH, AND OVER OUR OPPONENTS. OUR ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT WILL FEAR FOR THE SAFET OF ALL IN ATTENDANCE SHOULD A BOLT OF KERRYON ESCAPE THE STADIUM AND ZAP SOME UNSUSPECTING TAILGATERS OUT IN THE HAYFIELDS.
AFTER THESE TWO HAVE RUSHED FOR,1500 YARDS EACH, THE BACKUPS WILL GET TO CLEAN UP THE SCRAPS - UGA, SPUAT, ETC.
AT MID SEASON THE SEC WILL HAVE TO CONSIDER WHETHER TO REAPPORTION THE CONFERENCE DIVISIONS. THEY WILL KEEP TWO DIVISIONS EXCEPT AUBURN WILL BE THEIR OWN DIVISION AND THE OTHER (WHAT ARE WE UP TO NOW? 90) TEAMS WILL BE ALLOWED TO PLAY AGAINST THEM SIMULTANEOUSLY.
IT WONT MATTER.
THERE WILL BE A NEW DEFINITION FOR FUTILITY IN WEBSTERS AFTER 2017 -"WAITING FOR AN AUBURN LOSS"
IT WONT MATTER.
DEFENDING NATIONAL CHAMPS?
MORE LIKE DEFENDING NATIONAL CHUMPS
SPUAT?
MORE LIKE PFFFT.
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE DEFENSE.
THE AUBURN DEFENSIVE LINE WILL BE MORE IMPOSING THAN THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA. DURING GAMES WE WILL ALWAYS GET THE OBLIGATORY ISS SHOT AND THE COMMENTS ABOUT BEING ABLE TO SEE THEM FROM SPACE. AFTER GRADUATION TESE YOUNG MEN WILL JUST LINE UP OUTSIDE THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT WHERE PEOLE FROM ACROSS THE GLOBE CAN COME WALK OVER THEIR HUMONGOUS BACKS, TAKE SELFIES, AND PERFORM RIDICULOUS X-GAMES STUNTS FEOM ATOP THEIR MASSIVE RAMPARTS.
AUBURNS LINEBACKERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BECOME CLASSIFIED AS THE NAVY MOTHBALLS ITS NEW RAIL GUN SYSTEM AND REPLACES IT WITH THE LINEBACKERS. THESE YOUNG MEN WILL EACH BE PLACED ON THE FOREDECK OF A CRUISER AND BRING AN IMMEDIATE SILENCE AND REVERENCE AS THEY TOUR THE WAR TORN PARTS OF THE WORLD. BAD MEN WILL COWER IN FEAR, NO HORROR, AT WHAT MIGHT BE IN STORE FOR THEM. CHILDREN WILL SIMULTANEOUSLY STARE IN AWE AMD RESPECT AT THE POWER AND SPEED.
AUBURNS DEFENSIVE BACKS WILL JUST SIT IN LAWN CHAIRS AFTER THE FIRST GAME, JUST TO ENTICE OPPOSING OFFENSES TO THEOW. ANY PASS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY INTERCEPTED AND RETURNED FOR ONE POINT.
ONE POINT WILL BE THE NEW AUBURN SCORING SYSTEM WHERE AUBURN GETS 1 POINT PER SCORE WHILE OPPOSING TEAMS GET ONE HUNDRED. AUBURN WILL LEAD THE NATION IN SCORING AUBURNS DEFENSE WILL BE SECOND IN SCORING ONLY TO AUBURNS OFFENSE.
DANIEL CARSON WILL BE REQUIRED TO ,KICK FLATTENED FOOTBALLS, ONLY TO KEEP THEM IN THE STAIDUM.
THIS WILL BE GUSTAV MALZAHNS MAGNUM OPUS.
THIS WILL BE FOOTBALL PERFECTION
ENJOY IT BECUASE FOOTBALL WILL NEVER BE PLAYED AGAIN AFTER THIS SCENE OF MAGNIFICENCE. IT WOULD BE FUTILE.
SO, BET IT ALL.
BET YOUR DUCK BUCKS.
BET YOUR LIFE SAVINGS
BET YOUR FARM
BET YOR WIFE, KIDS, MOTHER IN LAW
BET IT ALL
BET
IT
ALL
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Starred by:
BoroTiger
Aubiece
ck
iPhoneHobbes
J.M.
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