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dabble
(97.79.126.33) on 9/9/2011 - 2:26 p.m. says: ( 32 views
, 1 likes
)
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"dear baylor (NSFK)"
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CONTEXT ADDED BY ADMIN:
END OF CONTEXT
Dear Baylor,
I
realize you are feeling heroic. You are feeling inspired. But here is
the fact. Texas A&M is leaving this conference. You can’t stop it.
You may delay it. You may stall it. But you can’t stop the
inevitable. The Sip 10 is going to collapse. It’s time to accept that.
You got lucky thumpers. Admit it. A few years before her
rampaged liver threw in the towel, that old lush matriarch of yours
somehow managed to get you a seat at the big boy table when you should
have been left at the fold up with the toddlers and your retarded uncle.
You secured a spot at the table you didn’t deserve. You know it, we
know it.
So your president, Ken Star. Nice add losers. Your
president made his name hunting down Bubba’s nut sauce. Nice. That
old, pasty, jackass carved out his place in US history by unearthing
every detail about Bill Clinton’s jizz on a navy Gap dress. That’s
awesome. And what did he prove? Nothing. Any non-Baylor affiliated,
semi-rational being would have concluded that getting shined by the
fatty intern between Cohiba diddling sessions was still a better place
to be than sharing time with his carpet munchin communist wife. You
wasted all that tax payer money to prove that Bill and Hillary hate each
other, Clinton likes him some strange, and men in general like BJ’s.
Outstanding.
You do understand the whole world hates him
right? Conservative, liberal, dem, repub, indepdenent, doesen’t matter.
No one hates a blow job. But everyone hates you Ken. Get it? You do
realize your institution hired one of the most hated people in America?
Hell, I didn’t even know he was your president until this epic Baptist
menstruation began a few days ago. Neither did the rest of the
country. Why? Because you’re Baylor. All over America people are
saying, remember that hateful old eunuch obsessed with Bill Clinton’s
spunk? Yeah, whatever happened to him? He’s the president of Baylor!
What is Baylor? Some church school in Texas. Never heard of it. Me
neither. But I hate them now.
And what college sports fans
around the country will quickly learn is that you’re simply a repository
for the off spring of semi-successful parents who require a 4-6 year
summer camp for their useless metrosexual sons and soon to be sexually
frustrated daughters. Speaking of which, if you keep wondering where
you girlfriend is on Saturday mornings, you might find her exiting a
northside dorm, wandering University looking for an ice pack and a
bottle of cranberry juice. But really, who can blame them? They just
want to party, dance, get laid, without getting proposed to or sent to
Baptist re-education camp in the process.
You could have acted
like men. You could have said FU Texas A&M, don’t let the door hit
your goober ass on the way out. Enjoy the 100 year fisting you just
volunteered for in the SEC. We’ll chart our own destiny, sheep humpers.
Nope. Nah, you decided to be a little ***** and you know what little
*****es get? Sticky spots from the tramp stamp to your shoulder blades,
lying in bed listening to the shower wondering if he’s coming back. But
hey, at least we’re courteous enough to throw you a rag. At least we
have been open about our intentions. The sips are going to pull the
strings up to the point that the tiny dancing bear is no longer of value
or amusement, and then its finally going to hit you – you’ve been
taking a big burnt orange dong up the chute from your abusive boyfriend
in Austin, with only the hope that he’d let you keep sleeping on the
couch in the pool house. The locks are getting changed. You’ll be
walking the streets homeless, with a badly shaved head, nursing your
orifices like a Parisian call girl that got caught servicing SS officers
circa 1944. And that’s where the real fun is going to start for you
green and gold ingrates. No one is going to want you. No one likes a
cock block. No one likes the frumpy, b**** sweatshirt wearing tri delt
with a propensity for keeping the lookers from hooking up. And no one
likes sniveling, nutless old men who lie about their intentions and
threaten suit in an ultimately feeble attempt to stop what cannot be
stopped.
I’d conclude by saying enjoy Conference USA. But I fear that is probably out of reach for you at this point. Poor baylor.
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BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!
BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!
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