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And it has its place. My teens are both girls (the universe has a profound sense of humor), and they know that I have a little of this attitude within me.
To be serious for a moment (and only for a moment), my suggestions/conclusions at this point for the teen parenting gig are as follows:
1) If you have no credibility with them, you are hosed;
2) Credibility largely is established before they become teens, but you have to work to maintain it. Your approach has to change completely, though. When they are small, the presumption is that you are always right. Once they are teenagers, the presumption is that you are a dumbass (they really don't want you to be a dumbass, but you will never be told that you are a non-dumbass. This is part of the separation thing). This will try your patience severely and can threaten your resolve. Don't cave;
3) From my perspective, the only rigid parenting rule for teens is to stay in the game. Talk to them about everything. If you sense they are embarrassed or getting uncomfortable, chances are you are on an important topic. Be careful and tactful but do not abandon the topic(s). Teenagers already think you are retarded, so your downside is not as steep as you often think it is. Do not allow them to isolate from you. Often this requires big picture thinking. I am learning (about a C+ student) not to get so upset over smallish, yet annoying, stuff that in the great scheme of things doesn't matter. If they are going to be adults, then they have to get responsibility. Every person who accepts responsibility at some point fails to uphold his/her end of the bargain. Almost all non-fatal mistakes can be corrected; and
4) Pray. If your belief system does not include prayer, then hope for luck. Good luck. You'll need it.
I dreaded this time of life, but I have to say it has been the most delightful portion of my parenting journey -- even with all the BS that raging hormones and awkward transitions can cause.
Now back to snark mode.
My strategy was to destroy the first boy-friend and let the word get out, thus assuring that no boy would get within 50' of my daughter. What is your opinion on this strategy?tegy?
