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my second Christmas since I lost my Dad, but sometimes if feels like forever since I spoke to him.
He and my Mom divorced when I was just under 6 years old and we moved from Chicago to Mississippi to live with my Grandmother. Pop and I never really connected again till I was in my 30's and married for the second time. We slowly became more than just Dad and Son, we became close friends and could count on each other, if nothing else, for just a "friendly voice" on the other end of the phone line when times were trying. Holidays I miss talking to him more than any other time and I was feeling just a bit blue this afternoon thinking of his deep voice...
Then my mother jolted me back to reality...
I called her to wish her a Merry Christmas and she reminded me that many other folks have lost more old friends and family than I have and that I am really lucky to have the kids, wife and friends I have around me now. She talked about her mother and father, brothers, sisters, cousins and friends that aren't there at Christmas any more.
But she wasn't sad. She just missed them. She sounded as a kid might wishing for something they know they will probably never have. She seemed peaceful and it actually helped me see something I had forgotten today and I told her so...
"Mom", I said "the ones we have lost may not be around for us to see but they are still here with us and I feel them every day."
"Me too", she said.
I hugged my oldest, middle and youngest child when I got off the phone and kissed my wife and thanked them for such a great Christmas. They looked just a bit puzzled, then laughed at the old, fuzzy-faced fat man and told me they loved me.
Damn I am a lucky man.
