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He can get me to vote for him by pledging to do the following:
1. Change his freaking name to O'Auburn. Or even O'Barner.
2. Death penalty to any who run or advocate the legitimacy of the A11 offense.
3. Confiscation of all metal baseball bats.
4. Use of the confiscated bats to beat to death all who think that the DH is a good idea.
5. Support amending the First Amendment allowing Congress and the several states to ban the making of any movies starring Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller or remakes of T.V. Shows from the 50's or 60's.
