I must say I was sorry to hear about Desert the rabbit. It’s
tough to let them go sometimes, but sometimes a trip to the local refuse
depository is for the best.
Man, it’s been a busy couple of days here at the
clinic. Yesterday Mrs. Johansen came in with her 4-year-old cocker bitch. She
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I must say I was sorry to hear about Desert the rabbit. It’s
tough to let them go sometimes, but sometimes a trip to the local refuse
depository is for the best.
Man, it’s been a busy couple of days here at the
clinic. Yesterday Mrs. Johansen came in with her 4-year-old cocker bitch. She
was complaining that the dog was defecating in the house and unresponsive to
her commands. Well, luckily I had the proper remedy for that, 100 cc’s of sodium
pentobarbital. She was a bit hesitant about it at first, but I told her I was
glad to do it. No need to see and old dog suffer like that.
And of course we’re
currently running a 2-for-1 special on Chihuahuas and all other small rat-style dogs. It really doesn’t cost me any more, I only have to use about a quarter of the normal volume of barbiturates, so I figured I could shoot two birds with one stone so to speak by passing on the savings to my customers. So needless to say, the waiting room has been flooded with fathers, boyfriends, and husbands holding rat dogs who will later be discovered to have “runaway”, “joined the circus”, or “gone to run free with the wild Chihuahuas of the pampas of New Guinea”.
Well, it’s not a glamorous life, but it’s a necessary service we provide. And of course, every euthanasia comes with a copy of the rainbow bridge and your very own copy of “101 Uses for a Dead Chihuahua”.
Top 101 uses for a Dead Chihuahua
1. Door Stop
2. Back Scratcher
3. Yard Ornament
4. Bottle Opener
5. Conversation Piece
6. As a Warning to Live Chihuahuas'
7. Cheap Christmas Present
8. Toilet Bowl Brush
9. Bait for 'Rat Traps'
10. Hood Ornament
11. Barbie Doll Toy Horse - 'Charlie'
12. Fertilizer
13. Quiet Companion
14. Book Mark
15. Table Lamp
16. Ash Tray
17. Shoe Buffer
18. Target Practice
19. Pencil Sharpener
20. Hole Puncher
21. Appetizer for a Rottweiller Puppy
22. 'Skippy' the never-tiring watch dog
23. Pet Rock Dog
24. Dust Rag Chamois
25. Feather Duster
26. Car Window Suction Toy
27. Stocking Stuffer
28. Floating Drinks Holder for your Bath or Pool.
29. Hollow it out to make a Chihuahua Jelly Mold (tm)
30. Add one zip along belly. Voila. One small handbag.
31. A pin cushion
32. Circut tester--to check for the presence of 110v in wires. (would probably
work better with live Chihauhuas)
33. Use a pair for oven mitts.
34. A substitute travel pillow.
35. Footstool.
36. A unique desk organiser.
37. Letter opener.
38. Pie crust decorator.
39. Toast rack.
40. XMAS tree decoration.
41. Rollerblade knee and elbow-pads (four required)
42. VCR head cleaner.
43. Parasite farm (similar to an ant farm)
44. Piranha food
45. Camping pillow
46. Get two, attach them by a rope; viola! the hottest thing for rearview mirrors
since fuzzy dice
47. Hang it from the ceiling; becomes a punching bag
48. Bird food
49. Tetherball!
50. Lawn Chihuahua (like those pink lawn flamingos) Just add spikes and paint!
(see #3)
51. Tie seven or eight of them together, attach to a stick and you have one
hell of a weapon!
52. A shaving brush
53. Leave one out in the sun for a week or so, water liberaly...a do it yourself
Chia Chihuahua!
54. Maggot Fodder
55. Slippers
56. A new bubble gum: Big League Chihuahua!
57. A Hairpiece
58. Thanxgiving Center Piece
59. A gap filler for David Letterman!
60. Sam Peckinpaw movie prop.
61. Croquet Hoops
62. Crampons
63. Saw in half, bookends
64. Boot scrapers
65. Lovely evening wrap.
66. Dangly pierced earrings.
67. Mobile for baby's crib.
68. Weathervane.
69. You can use the dead chihuahua to choke the people who wrote this page.
:-)
70. Another common use for a dead chihuahua is a cute stencil for a child's
room. Alternate chihuahua stencil with cacti for a true southwestern motif.
71. OK, for the truly disgusting, I suppose it would make a cheap IUD or some
other variation of birth control device.
72. Tails make convenient toothpicks for outdoorsey types.
73. A great cat toy, they look like mice on steroids.
74. One-way Boomerang.
75. For Southern California Chihuahua owners - coyote food! Just place outside
at dusk and watch the fun begin!
76. Somewhere to put your boggies once you have finished rolling them round
in your fingers.
77. The anus could be a pencil holder (see 19)
78. A small rug as they do with tigers.
79. Press between the pages of a book. Makes a lovely memento.
80. Fill with candy and make a really cool pinata.
81. Make terriffic party hats
82. Computer mouse cozy.
83. Toupee'
84. Use it to practice your field goals. (Once again, probably works better
with live Chihuahua).
85. Hackey Sack.
86. Put between manifolds and tailpipe of car. Since its an organic object,
it would probably make a pretty good catalytic converter.
87. Toy for sadistic children.
88. Tampon for a real fat-ass. (see 62)
89. Starter for a "Junior Headhunters Set."
90. Boxing glove
91. Fridge magnet
92. Paws could be coat hangers
93. Chum
94. Something to throw at the TV when one of those annoying Taco Bell commercials
come on.
95. Chalkboard eraser
96. Baby bottle brush
97. A new sex toy 4 the gay community
98. Five White Castle hamburgers
99. A Happy Meal Toy (tm)
100. Toilet Paper
101. The "secret" ingredient of Spam
