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AUBURNmomUTwife (65.5.55.198) on 11/29/2007 - 11:00 p.m. says: ( 19 views )

"A conversation between Tommy & wife"

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Tommy:  I think I'm going to take the job with Arkansas.

Tommy's wife:   No you aren't.

Tommy:  But they're offering more money.

Tommy's wife:  I don't care.

Tommy:  But these jackasses have been #badword#ing me over for years.  Remember when they fired up the jets?

Tommy's wife:  Yes.  I remember.  Do YOU remember how we planned our home?  Do you remember when we moved your MOTHER here from Arkansas?  If you think we're going to be uprooted again Mister Man, you've got another thing coming.  I'm tired of all of this #badword#.  I've put my blood, sweat and tears into our new home.  I've fought with contractors and decorators.  ALL OF MY FRIENDS KNOW I BUILT THIS HOUSE.  I am not moving.

Tommy:  Calm down.

Tommy's wife:   DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!!  YOU THINK IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU DON'T YOU?  WHAT ABOUT OUR CHILDREN (sniff sniff)?  WHAT ABOUT THEM?  HUH???  YOU WANT TO MOVE BACK TO ARKANSAS?  ARKANSAS?  ARE YOU #badword#ING KIDDING ME?  WHY WOULD I MOVE TO ARKANSAS?  I LIVE IN AUBURN, YOU BASTARD!  I'M NOT MOVING!  YOU CAN GO IF YOU WANT..........BUT I'M STAYING HERE!  YOU CAN USE THE EXTRA MONEY YOU EARN TO PAY MY MORTGAGE.  AND YOU CAN FORK OVER 50% OF EVERYTHING YOU'VE EARNED WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. (sob sob sob...slams door...throws blankets out of bedroom so he can sleep on couch....sobs more.....breaks stuff....kids start to cry....you get the picture.)

Tommy:  Honey?  I was just kiddin'!  I'm staying!  Of course I'm staying!!!  Puddin'????  Open the door sweetie......

 

 

 

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