It’s getting serenaded with “Rocky Top” by the Minnesota band after
losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.
It’s worshiping an old dead drunk.
It’s losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to “Tuscaloser” and still
thinking you were innocent.
It’s losing 9 of 10 to Tennessee and still thinking you’re better.
It’s claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain
recognizes you with more than 6.
It’s making fun of other team’s “half a national championship,” when
most of the ones you claim were shared.
It’s claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State
and Vandy.
It’s claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
5 coaches in 5 years.
It’s being on probation 2 separate times for cheating in less than 10 years.
Going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a “Bowl” game.
Biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.
Knowing your the best team every time you get beat.
Knowing that the NCAA is against you.
Knowing that AU owns you.
Mike Price.
It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP,
and Texas A&M.
It is having your 5th choice for a head coach turn you down.
It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to Auburn didn’t
make THEM fall in the polls.
It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn’t show up again to ruin
Homecoming.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.
It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.
It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent
boxes when the whole world can see that you don’t know how to use
either.
It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the
Tigers and yelling “War Eagle” when you’re called the Crimson Tide and
have an Elephant walk the sidelines.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and
6-6.
It is having a Big Least coach turn down a job offer.
It is throwing bricks through your coach’s window after a 10 win season.
It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying “well, at least
we’re not as bad as Alabama”.
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola
was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire
season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring Head Coaches in the
nation, yet worst track record.
And last but not least, it's 2157 days and counting.......... HEXAPHOBIA ............
