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This is based on the slim hope that this information will be used to slaughter Arkansas 80-0 to quickly bring down the demise of the current coaching personnel and more quickly institute our rightful place in perpetuity in the top three for fifteen years---with our new coach we find at some east Texas high school.
1. Throw the ball on every down. Deep. I wouldn't even run the ball unless your quarterback's arm hurts from throwing the ball. It will probably be sore from constant throwing. He may miss a few JUST FROM THE SHOCK OF SEEING ONE HIS AUBURN RECEIVERS WIDE OPEN, waving his arms widely. And then he'll come back to the huddle and say, "Damn, sorry about that, that was unreal you were so wide open, I lost my train of thought. Let's do that again. TOUCHDOWN!"
Throw it over the middle, on the sides, then throw it deep. 3 out of 7 times it will go for a TD.
2. There's no scene like in "The Princess Bride," with McFadden or Jones. You won't believe this but if McFadden or Felix is in the I set, one of them is getting the ball. I mean, everytime. Its amazing to see some defenses think that, "okay, they are thinking we are going to think McFadden is going to get the ball, and so they think we should be keying on McFadden, and so, we will now not key on McFadden as much, because Arkansas is going topass, so therefore we'll cover the pass."
Then, what happens? What the hell happens? We run the ball. WE CANNOT PASS, PEOPLE.
McFadden goes for 13 yards. Why is this? Its because the defense was thinking we were thinking of doing something NOT OBVIOUS, when in fact, we are OBVIOUS. We are simply too stupid and one wayed to trick anyone and yet we trick everyone with this for some reason. Surely, someone will figure out, that we run it every play and it is not a trick.
3. DO NOT COVER THE PASS unless McFadden is playing quarterback. Everything else, when we pass it will be incomplete. McFadden can actually complete a pass.
