FLORIDA FOOTBALL: FOOD FOR A MAN'S SOUL 
You’re better than us.
Yes. We acknowledge your superiority. Your coach outcoached us. Your team outplayed us. You beat us at home, in the Swamp, which has never happened in the Urban Meyer era. You’re also better-looking and smarter than us.
Somehow, some way, you have our number. Even in a year in which you field one of your weaker teams, you still find a way to beat us. Your senior quarterback, who played so poorly in his first few games that the Auburn coaching staff burned a freshman’s redshirt, looked like an All-American against our defense. And our offense, supposedly ready to ring up 500 yards and 50 points against the New England Patriots, couldn’t get out of its own way for a half of football, then squandered multiple opportunities to eak out a win in the 4th quarter.
You beat us twice in a row, which sucks. You get to crow for the next five years or so, or until we face off in the SEC Championship game (which if we did, you’d probably win.) Our beloved Baby Rhino, Tim Tebow, might never log a win against the mighty Auburn Tigers.
But at the end of the day, we thank you. Our formerly inflated, biggie-sized self-worth, which came due to our 59-20 trouncing of Tennessee, can now be found on the 99-cent value meal menu. We thought we were unstoppable, and that a close call against one of the SEC’s worst teams was due to a bunch of kids taking their first road trip. We were wrong. We now realize that the Volunteer Abuse Game was an aberration, that Troy stacking 31 points on us in the Swamp should have been a dire warning, and every quarterback we play, not just Ole Miss’ walk-on, is going to look like a Heisman candidate against our defense.
Now we know Tim Tebow is a mere mortal. We know that if one or two of our best receivers are dinged up it will be hard to win a lot of games. We know that our team is only ‘pretty good’ in the SEC scheme and that games against Kentucky, South Carolina, and Georgia will be require every last shred of effort and luck to win. We refuse to even think about playing LSU at this time, as the thought makes us physically ill. We thank you because now that our team has been exposed, we can lower our unrealistic national title repeat aspirations and work our damnedest at making an appearance in the SEC Title game and a January bowl.
After watching South Florida beat West Virginia and Mississippi State give Spurrier’s Gamecocks every last bit they could handle (with their backup QB, no less), it’s obvious that your two early losses weren’t embarassing at all. South Florida is a Top 10 team, Mississippi State is much-improved from 2006, and Brandon Cox picked a hell of a night to put it all together. Dude couldn’t miss. Congratulations, you have a very good football team and you won a game in some of the most hostile conditions imaginable.
My hat’s off to you, Auburn. Now please excuse me while I go throw up again.
Loading ...
16 Comments so far
Leave a comment
A tough loss that beggars belief. But you have to give the Plainsmen credit — they came prepared and got the job done.
Florida is now in a dogfight for the East. You still have to like your chances — just maybe not as much as last week.
Florida must find offensive balance and work on the linebacking corps. The Gators still out-talent 90% of the East on both sides of the ball, but it won’t be enough by itself.
Tebow cannot continue to be 70% off the offense — he will be injured for sure, and you guys need more options to keep the defense honest. Tebow is an awesome talent and I don’t want him to sit out the last third of the season in a body cast.
By Truzenzuzex on 09.30.07 10:19 am
So tell me again about scoring 30 on every team not from Baton Rouge. I have heard that caca from so many gators this season I can lipsynch it when they say it. Welcome back to reality gator nation now maybe you won’t forget that you are part of the SEC and not the Pac 10. Putting up 30 points against every SEC opponent is damn near impossible. Has it ever been done? I don’t know but I seriously doubt it. It sure as hell won’t happen this year. And Keltic Gator if you read this please answer me this one little question. Have you always been a peckerwood? War Damn Eagle Gators! And I really mean it when I say “good luck and win the rest of ‘em”.
By Todd92 on 09.30.07 11:39 am
“Now we know Tim Tebow is a mere mortal.”
Blasphemy. He just can’t win a game by himself.
Also, Am I the only one that rememebrs what a pain in the ass Auburn was during the Spurrier years?
Auburn has ALWAYS been fond of killing our dreams. And they have done it a few times.
GO GATORS
By Wolf on 09.30.07 2:13 pm
Yep. They came to play, and beat us fair and square. Rest of the season is now looking a little scary. But we’ll get better. Hopefully soon.
By Spencer Lloyd on 09.30.07 6:20 pm
Thanks for kudos, Gator Pilot, you’re a good man. However, I would have preferred to have gotten the conciliatory speech from Keltic Gator. But I imagine he’s got a mouth full of crow right about now.
So, Keltic, how does it feel to lose to a team that “isn’t an elite football team”? I imagine you feel quite a bit of rage. Perhaps you will pen a new column about how much you hate Auburn. At least this time you’ll have a good reason. Your boy Tebow reminds me of another famous Gator who couldn’t do diddly-squat against Auburn: Emmitt Smith, who averaged about 40 yards a game against the Tigers. Of course, you were probably still running around with a snot nose back then, huh, Keltic? I figure this Gator bandwagon is something new to you, with your obvious lack of respect for the Auburn/Florida rivalry.
Despite Keltic’s pleas to the contrary, Auburn and Florida have an intense but respectful rivalry. It’s a shame that we don’t play it every year anymore. Even though last night’s game was exciting, it still can’t compare against the 1993 and 1994 games–in my mind, the two greatest games I’ve ever seen Auburn play.
By War Eagle Atlanta on 09.30.07 7:03 pm
[…] (At least one Florida blog actually seems to appreciate this wisdom, and that’s great!) […]
By 2nd Corinthians 12:10: Religion… Justified - Succulent Blood drips from The Mighty Shiv « THE WAR EAGLE READER on 10.01.07 1:07 am
Yeah Auburn’s got our number. I don’t know why either. We were obviously overrated, no doubt. The only thing that rankings are good for are to let us know who is on the longest winning streak. Nothing more, nothing less.
But Auburn, we have a better chance of making the SEC Championship game than you do, so take your win and your eagle or tiger or whatever the hell you are, and your 3rd place SEC West finish and get over yourselves. Who knows, maybe you’ll spark us on to another Title this year. When was your last one of those?
Oh yeah…
By Hoffman on 10.01.07 2:20 am
The gig is up… We are EXPOSED!
Auburn just demonstrated to the world how to stop our one dimensional, everything on Tebow’s shoulders, weak O-Line offense, vacant run game and mediocre pass game.
Where is Chris Leak when we need him? All the nay sayers that wanted Leak out last year for Tebow should be wondering. The one-two punch was great last year. This year we only have a jab.
LSU is gonna man-handle our O-Line and cover our receivers, and their linebackers are gonna have a field day. I hope Tebow does not get too badly hurt.
By Rick on 10.01.07 8:54 am
Great point, Hoffman…seems as though you’re really with the times. With that kind of backward-thinking attitude, I’m sure the Bama Nation would proudly take you on as an apprectice fan…all you have to do is continuously spout out random facts about how you USED TO BE GOOD.
WDE
By Atlanta Tiger on 10.01.07 11:42 am
Thank you to all of you Gator fans that show your class by giving kudos to my mighty Tigers and not excuses.
And to Keltic, it was stated best above when you were called out for not respecting the rivalry. I was knee high to a cricket when I watched my first AU/FL game. Bama has Tennesee and Auburn. AU is blessed to have 4 games that we cherish as TRADITION at it’s best - UGA, BAMA, LSU and you Gator’s. And I can honestly say that from the day of conference reallignment the only thing I hated was that we would not see each other EVERY year like we used to. 93′, 94′, 05′ & ‘06 - Football does not get any better, neither do rivalries.
And HOFFMAN - don’t worry about how hard it will be for us to get to the SEC Championship game - JUST WORRY IF WE DO (re: Tennessee ‘04). Even though you and Keltic seem to have moved here from Utah in the past 2 years or so, next time we meet in AU you are welcome at my tailgate anytime, even if you show the sore in loser by your comments. I’ll even feed you if you win. That is how it is supposed to be.
And to all the other Gator fans - War Damn Eagle and I hope that you get to the SEC championship without another blemish.
By JS Rush on 10.01.07 11:43 am
JS Rush: thanks for your comments. Like you I like this game as one of the more respectful and civil rivalries in the SEC.
Fan report from the game: Auburn fans were well-behaved and very classy. I shook a few hands walking out of the stadium. It’s painful to hear the exuberance and happiness of your opponent when they beat you in your own house, but Auburn deserved to have that special moment and I’m glad they enjoyed their win. There was no taunting or rubbing it in (at least none that I saw) and my high opinion of Auburn fans as the best fans in the state of Alabama was confirmed.
We Gators wish you the best of luck for the rest of the season and hey, maybe a rematch in Atlanta wouldn’t be totally out of the question for either of us.
By GatorPilot on 10.01.07 12:56 pm
I love how all of the sudden a little trash talking is considered “not classy”. Who made that rule? It’s college football for crying out loud! Loosen up and live a little! If you can’t talk a little trash (in a win OR a loss) then what’s the entertainment in THAT? What. Am I just supposed to tell Auburn how great they are and how horrible we are b/c they beat us by 3 points??? Sore Loser? Who isn’t sore about losing? I said that Auburn has our number. But you’re still not even ranked, so like I said, put your win in perspective.
By Hoffman on 10.01.07 1:39 pm
My take on things: I think Florida just had a crap game, and Auburn proved that they aren’t as bad as their record showed. Take a lesson from the Tigers who beat you, and don’t give up now. The season is young.
War Damn Eagle, and good luck with the rest of the season!
By Scooby on 10.01.07 8:21 pm
F*ck Auburn. USF is not a bad loss. MSU is a joke. A good defense and a true freshman QB and a group of offensive players that couldn’t crack the first team at UConn. Gimme a break.
MSU will finish the year with maybe 5 wins. Auburn with maybe 8. UCLA beat USC last year but only the crackheads in Auburn think that equates to being a better team.
I hope Tuberville stays at AU forever so they can return to the same type of irrelevance they had during most of the 90s. Go Dawgs!!!
By Lloyd on 10.01.07 9:13 pm
This from cfn.com about says it all:
… If the Gators weren’t going to lose this week to Auburn, they were going to lose in the near future, and more than once, because of the lack of a running back threat. Auburn’s defense might be good, but the Gators didn’t even pretend to get anyone other than Tim Tebow involved in the running game. Tebow might have been great, but the Florida offense was rolling early on, the running backs were getting the ball. Basically, the offense has become way too predictable. It’s either going to be Tebow running the ball, or Percy Harvin getting involved in some way. That’s good enough to beat just about anyone in America, but Florida can’t win consistently, or be as dominant as it should, until all the parts are working on a regular basis.
By Rick on 10.02.07 7:02 am
Oh yeah… And as far as the best Team in Florida… Thats has to be USF. We better hope we don’t get them in a bowl game as some predict. That may well end up as our 3rd loss this year after Auburn and LSU.
By Rick on 10.02.07 7:05 am
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>