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HungaryGator
(12.100.58.66) on 10/6/2006 - 11:49 a.m. says: ( 5 views
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"hypothetical SEC season for U$C.........."
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(EDITED BY AUTHOR: 10/6/2006 - 11:55 a.m.) Game 1: first you open up with a tune-up against Kentucky. It will be a big victory and you'll feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You'll say to yourselves "see? The SEC ain't so tough."
Game 2: Then the next week you travel to the Cocks. You'll win but.......you'll notice something disturbing. That stadium was louder than any you've been in out west and at times, it looked like the Cocks were actually threatening you. Your defense didn't look nearly as good as you thought it would. Oh well. "Its a one game aberration" you tell yourself. "They just caught us flat. It won't happen again" you say.
Game 3: Then the next week LSU comes calling. Uh-oh. That defense is VERY nasty. Its faster and stronger than any you've seen out West. The game's a tossup. Maybe you win, maybe you lose. Let's say you win a tight one. Phew! Huge sigh of relief! (by this point your season would be just about done in the LAC-10.
Game 4: Then the next week you go to Tennessee. All the talking heads say you're better than them but.........that stadium is HUGE! Its the loudest nastiest most hostile thing you've ever heard in your lives. These hillbillies don't seem to respect your ritzy Cal-eee-for-n-I-A image nor your press clippings. Why.....I think these Hillbillies actually want BLOOD! Your ears are ringing from the noise. Hearing snap counts is a distant memory as are audibles. Unfortunately for you, after a tough game the week before, you're depleted and Tennessee beats you.......The headscratching starts. How is this possible? Musta been a bad game by the coaches. The players must have been out partying the night before. You're U$C for goodness sake! This kind of thing doesn't happen to you!
Game 5: Then the next week Mississippi State visits the Coloseum. Its a blowout win and you feel good about yourselves again. The media fawns instead of asking those annoying questions about how you lost.
Game 6: Then the next week Auburn visits. This is another physical team with yet another of those very fast and very nasty defenses. They......they.......they seem to actually take it personally that you are trying to score! Don't they know! You're U$C fcr goodness sake! You're supposed to dance and prance in the endzone! That's what the people want to see! You notice your team doesn't seem to be quite as fast nor as frisky as they were when the season started. The bumps and bruises are starting to add up. Auburn beats you pretty soundly. This season isn't very much fun anymore.
Game 7: Then the next week you travel to Florida. This is once again an incredibly loud and hostile place. You take the field and notice once again that the other team has a very fast and very nasty defense. This isn't fair. Your boys are tired and haven't had enough rest from your last tough game. You could swear your ears are going to bleed its so loud. You get thumped. This season sucks!
Game 8: Then the next week UGA visits you. They haven't been very good-having to break in a new QB. They almost lost to Colorado earlier. COLORADO! You've got this one in hand. Half the stadium is empty since your "fans" decided they had better entertainment opportunities elsewhere. Half of the ones that do come don't show up until the middle of the first quarter. You notice something disturbing. Your backup QB (the starter after taking brutal licks for several games just can't go anymore) isn't quite as sharp as your starter was. He throws a few costly picks. Your defense, which wasn't all that great anyway is now as worn out as a $2 whore at Mardi Gras. They can't stop anybody. UGA puts one on you. You realize there's only one thing left to do. You stick your thumb in your mouth and scream "MOMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
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