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Iron Bowl reflections
November 23 , 2005 -- The Iron Bowl is over. Alabama trainers have just about gotten all the grass stains out of Brodie Croyle’s uniform. Has it been long enough to look at the game objectively and put aside the emotions that the household-dividing family feud inspires? Probably not, but we’ll give it a shot anyway.
Let’s get the overriding ramifications of the game out of the way first. A few short weeks ago, some columnists hailed the resurrection of the Alabama football program while they simultaneously decried the declining state of Auburn football. Now, after the convincing Auburn win, the same columnists are touting the significant shift in power toward the Tigers while wondering if the Tide can ever recover. Yes, the game is a pivotal event in this state, but it hardly has the apocalyptic ramifications some would claim. Auburn won a football game. It did so in dominating fashion and earned a boost in the ratings and the bowl pecking order. Auburn fans have another year of bragging rights. It’s possible that a stray recruit or two may have been swayed. The two teams will play again next year. And that’s about the size of it.
A seismic shift toward Auburn as the dominant team in the state didn’t happen on November 19. That shift is slow and gradual. It’s been happening for 25 years or more as noted in this very column earlier this year. (The times, they are a changin', June 15, 2005) The annihilation unleashed by the Tigers this season didn’t precipate this shift, but it may have given it just a twinge more momentum.
Now let’s dispense with the excuses. If you’re one of the ones with a calculator and a graph chart out trying to plot a three-quarter Tide win, put the tools away. After Auburn took a 21-0 first quarter lead, the Tigers went into an offensive shell. Auburn attempted just six passes from the first quarter on -- hardly the strategy of a team inclined to do anything other than sit on a lead. You don't "win everything but the first quarter" as Brodie postulated when the other team has gone into offensive hibernation, content to just run out the clock.
The “Auburn only beats Alabama when the Tide is down” theory won’t wash either. Over the last 20 years, Auburn owns a 12-8 record against Alabama. Seven of those wins came against Tide teams that finished the season with eight or more wins. By contrast, five of Alabama’s eight wins over Auburn came against Tiger teams destined to finish the season with seven or fewer wins. Seems some folks have that one backwards.
It was a little disconcerting to see some columnists point to the loss to Auburn as helping the Tide recruiting effort. Isn’t that the “see a chance to play immediately” strategy that’s worked so well for Vanderbilt, Kentucky and Ole Miss over the last 40 years?
From the ridiculous to the borderline delusional. Brodie Croyle’s agent didn’t tell him to keep from getting hit. Neither did his girlfriend. Nobody made a deal with the Bama offensive line. The game was not thrown on purpose as one fan suggested in an email to a Sports Illustrated writer. Starting John Parker Wilson wouldn’t have made a difference. There was no referee conspiracy. A healthy Tyrone Prothro might have made things more competitive, but it’s doubtful he would have changed the outcome. The effects of the loss to LSU shouldn’t have made a difference. At 9-1, Bama had plenty to play for, and if the team couldn’t get up for it’s primary rival (hint, it isn’t Tennessee despite what some try to claim) there’s a deeper problem somewhere.
In the aftermath of the game some Bama fans took issue with Tiger coach Tommy Tuberville holding up four fingers as he left the stadium -- representing the four consecutive years Auburn has beaten the Tide. The main point of contention seems to be that legendary coaches Bear Bryant of Alabama and Shug Jordan of Auburn would not have done it. That’s probably true. Then again, neither Bryant nor Jordan would have talked on a cell phone, listened to a CD, bought a DVD, coached in the Georgia Dome, watched the Carolina Panthers or Jacksonville Jaguars play, surfed the Internet, paid $2 for a gallon of gas or voted for Bill Clinton. None of those things were possible in Bryant or Jordan’s day. Times change. Was the four-finger salute the most elegant gesture? Probably not. Did it justify outrage? Only as a diversionary tactic.
And finally, the bandwagons. In the two weeks prior to the Iron Bowl, you saw more cars adorned with Bama flags than you’d seen in the past five years. Combined. By the Sunday morning after, most had disappeared. In their place was a smattering of Auburn flags -- something that hadn’t been seen since, oh, September. If you’re going to wave the flag, wave it all season -- good or bad. Nothing's worse than one bandwaggoner taunting another.
This just in: Lou Holtz is quite possibly the worst analyst in the history of television. Since being compared to a mummified chimpanzee in this column -- if I didn’t make that comparison, I certainly meant to -- Holtz has gotten progressively worse in his gig as ESPN football analyst. When he’s not gumming semi-incoherently about a vastly overrated Notre Dame team, he’s fumbling through team names and staring off into space. Do us all a favor, ESPN. Hire Trev back. Or in lieu of that, put anybody up there instead of Holtz. Hire Nick Lachey. He’s available after Jessica dumped him. Hire Bob. You know, the annoying baby from the Quiznos commercials. He’d be better than Holtz. Hire a trained seal. At least that would be entertaining. But whatever you do, send Holtz back to the musty cellar from which you dragged him.
