Remember me? I'm the only person from A-L-A-B-A-M-A that is gonna be president! I can see that yur elevator don't stop at every floor. Even that nutcase Michael Dukakis knew not to favor one school or the other. You know Dukakis and I have something in common. His wife was hooked on diet pills, and Cornelia was hooked on the bottle. That and her little trips down to the state yacht in Mobile. I had to have Al Lingo keep a constant watch on her. You know, the apple don't fall far from the tree--Big Jim was the same way.
Anyway, this nation ain't ready to vote for somone like you to be President. You should get a new passel of advisors because the ones you got ain't helping too much. You must have learned your politics from Shorty Price. And don't hire any of your family either. My brother Gerald taught me that. Hellfire though, what am I saying? A Perrier-drinkin, Mercedes Benz ridin--uh we like them no scratch that--, Lexus ridin, concert pianist wannabe who fled from Birmingham, shoe buying, raggamuffin ain't never gonna get elected. We just won't stand for that sort of tommy-rot around here.
I'm sho that all those Auburn troops in Iraq are heartened to know that you will do the coin toss for THE biggest game of the year. Crash and burn little girlie, crash and burn.
I'm gonna be president one day. Just watch and see.
