If by some miracle we win, you'll have plenty of Ole Miss fans telling you:
A) They told you so. Tub is a snake oil salesman and a liar and John Kerry's and Jimmy Swaggart's love child.
B) Col Reb will never die.
C) Ole Miss coeds are better looking than Auburn's.
D) You suck.
E) They're going to sue TigerJack.
F) They won this one for Komodo Reb.
G) [Insert winning quarterback] is the next Eli Manning. Heisman 2005!
H) Cutcliffe is a terrible coach, but yours is worse.
I) You smell.
J) Auburn is in the middle of nowhere. Oxford rules. They have better overpriced restaurants!
K) Mississippi has better high school talent than Alabama.
L) Trent Lott went to Ole Miss. Trent Lott is a Republican, you pinko-liberal Alabamians.
M) We're going to hire Spurrier or Stoops after we fire Cutcliffe, because all good coaches salivate at the thought of coming to Ole Miss.
N) You wish you could have turf like we do in Jordan-Hare.
O) Whatever happened to The Jungle? Chirp-chirp.
P) All Massachusetts senators running for president love Auburn. We try to hit our new students with bricks, and watch the president call in the national guard. What have you ever done?
Q) Forget Big Fish - they filmed Heart of Dixie and The Gun in Betty Lou's Handbag in where else? Oxford. Oh, yeah. Some of our teachers were in it, including Barry Hannah.
R) John Grisham lives in Oxford, when he's not living somewhere else.
S) William Faulkner went to Ole Miss. He won the Pulitzer and Nobel Prize for literature. Who cares if he never graduated?
T) Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? took place in Mississippi. So did Crossroads with the karate kid. Beat that, suckers!
U) Ole Miss students all dress the same. Buy the same clothes. You wish Auburn had that kind of unity.
V) Chicken on a stick!
W) You wish you could buy cold beer in Oxford. Ha! Too bad! Now, drive your loser asses home, where they sell cold beer.
X) We got a brand new indoor practice facility. Who cares if it's still not done?
Y) Ole Miss grows medicinal pot.
Z) We were good in the 60's.
