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Fatass.
If you will notice, "our man" Jared got real hot there about four years ago, and then had, what I think, was a hiatus: Jared's Lost Period. What happened? Now, he's back. I'm guessing what happened here during the interim: maybe they couldn't control his eating binges during those 2 years and he got probably up to 515. And they probably had to remove him from any civilization with fast food chains, remove him from society and put him in a cage or something up in Nova Scotia, away from everybody. Chain that fat beast down. I bet if that sucker just let go of all controls, he'd eat 3 pounds of bark from a tree.
And the hilarity of that corpulent mother f&*ker making fun of McDonald's chicken selects, like he's not going dig into 50-60 of them.
I'm going to tell you something right now. You can believe this or not.
I think Jared from Subway is a fatass. That's why he wears those Charlie Brown sweaters or long sleve drooping shirts. If you lifted up his shirt to show his belly, there would be like, five or six, white, jelly, flopping, rolls there. I don't even want to think about it.
He needs to go outside and do some running. And get some sun, too. And fix those eyes, too.
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