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George Corley Wallace
(66.98.130.64) on 12/11/2003 - 4:05 p.m. says: ( 9 views
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"Just kaint make it without me, can you?"
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I see the Loveliest Village on the Plain is in an uproar these days. The Big Guy down here just let me know about what was happening. This proves just one point--without me at the helm the State of Alabama falls appart. Let's take a look-see:
First, the Perrier-drinking types over in Tuscaloosa hire that drunk Mark Price to be the coach. Then, he is fired for womanizing. Whoever heard of such a thing? In my day, we handled our women a might differently. Hell, Bear Bryant and I used to see some of the same gals, but they didn't dare talk. Then, they hire Mike Shula. Sounds like a natural with his Daddy and all. In this case, the apple tree was in Barbour County and the apple fell in Dallas County. That boy lost somethin' in the translation.
Now at Auburn, Bobby Lowder started screwin' stuff up. Bobby Lowder ain’t half the man his daddy was….Why, ol’ Ed Lowder was a real man, took Alfa to the cleaners and got rich....That was back when Little Bobby was in knee britches and taking piano lessons from Eleanora Poltice. Always was sort of a sissy britches, that boy. He and George McMillan used to have sleep-overs and trade Tallulah Bankhead photos.
Then, he gets that idiot Housel in league with him. Letme tell you somethin'--I flew bombers in the Big War, and Housel's comments show his ignerance. I was killing fascists when Housel was in diapers. Why in WWII, we wouldn't have let Housel wax the planes. The fact that the State Polytechnic Institute would hire him to head their Athletical Department speaks volumes.
Now, that school teacher outfit gets involved in things. They threaten to hold up the Bovine Center's accrediation. Let me tell you something--SACS is a group of pointy-headed, swaydo-intellectuals, who kaint park their bicycles straight! Well, let me give you a couple of four-letter words that might interest you: soap and work! Bunch of damn, professional tea-tasting, do-gooders. We don't want a bunch of Yankee socialists telling us what to do with our institution--even if it is Auburn.
Here's my solution. I'm a-gonna take Lowder, Housel, and dofledgie the President down to the Lisa Taylor Wallace Re-Educational Facility in beautiful Evergreen, Alabama. Tony is about to gradmuate from the facility and no longer falls for the soap on the floor routine. Personally, I don't figah that the Auburn trio will ever catch on to that one. Anyway, I've managed to bring Al Lingo out of retirement to personally take care of 'em. You remember Ole' Al. I told him to put those civil rights agitators in reverse on the Edmund Pettus Bridge, and Al turned into Bull Connor II. Well, he's reformed now. We'll take care of the problem.
I'm gonna be President one day. Just watch and see.
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