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When I have kids they're going to watch Pardon the Interuption and Film Noir DVDs. There will be no blue bears, wiggles or builder bobs running about. When my kid dances he'll be dancing to the Sportcenter theme song "da da da ...da da da!" and will say things like, "en fuego", and "I am king of the diamond. Let there be an abundant clubhouse feast. Bring me the finest meats and cheeses in all the land!"
He won't know the names of the "wiggles", but will know what papers Bob Ryan, Tony Kornheuser, Micheal Wilbon, Mike Lupica, John Saunders, and Mitch Albom write for. He will know what league the Expos and Devil Rays are in, and will know the evils of teams with teal as their official color, and why the Designated Hitter rule is the surest sign that the apocalypse is near.
He will know who Clarence Frogman Henry is, why Dave Brubeck is the coolest guy with white hair, and that "punk died the day The Clash signed with CBS", and he'll know not to trust any "artist" that looks proportionatly better than their music sounds.
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