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Booty Faulked
(137.30.165.136) on 10/23/2003 - 5:36 p.m. says: ( 10 views
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"flame"
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Its Saturday Night in Death Valley! - WOO WOO!!!
 THROUGH ME YOU ENTER INTO THE CITY OF WOES
THROUGH ME YOU ENTER INTO ETERNAL PAIN,
THROUGH ME YOU ENTER THE POPULATION OF LOSS.
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ABANDON ALL HOPE, YOU WHO ENTER HERE.
The Auburn Tigers have no hope of making it out of Tiger Stadium alive, much less with a win. Our fans are the worst in the SEC we burn down gymnasiums and  automobiles, we play weaker schools for no other reason but to rent a win, we rent teams and lead them to the slaughter, we wear white at home after labor day, and we all ride around in pirogues. We sit in the hot  Louisiana Sun from February to October just dreaming of POUNDING Auburn's FACE IN!!! We sit in this heat and drink tabasco shots, listen to reruns of Louisiana Hayride, drink Dixie Beer, eat gumbo and stew over a rainey day loss ten hours back east (YANKEE LAND) on i-10. A rainey day loss that both came about due to constant cheating on and off the field, and Tommy Tubberville's constant, classless trickery. We sit, we stew, we sweat and we sweat some more and we think about the injustices and we count them as they pile up. At night, when the sun goes down we kneel before our voodoo idols and pray for Tommy Tubberville's garden to be ruined by Ole Miss fans (yes that was us), and we pray for the strength to push the Auburn bus all the way over "next time". There will be over 100 Thousand of us on Campus Saturday, we will have been drinking for, in some cases, over 48 hours. You War Eagles have no idea what you've got yourselves into.
We are many, we are strong, we are coming to beat Auburn. We come from Northern Louisiana, where cowboys still work the ranches their fathers and grandfathers worked, we come from the bayous where hard working folks wake up sunday morning to go fishin' for big mouth bass, we come from acadiana where folks have been living the same way for over 250 years, and we come from New Orleans where our Irish and Italian ancestors came looking for a new home, and adopted the crescent city...we come to Baton Rouge for one reason, and one reason only, to BEAT AUBURN.
 NOW YOUR COACH, TOMMY TUBBERVILLE, IS A JOKESTER, HE LIKES TO PLAY GAMES, RUN UP THE SCORE, AND PLAY TRICKSY - FALSE FIELDGOALS AND PUNTS. YOU TELL YOUR COACH NOT TO DO ANY OF THAT OR ELSE WHAT MERCY OUR MIGHTY PLAYERS SHOW, WILL CEASE, FOR THE BEATING THE WAR EAGLES RECEIVE SHALL BE SO GREAT, IF ONE OF THESE TRICKSY - FALSE PLAYS IS ATTEMPTED, THAT YOU JUST MIGHT RECONSIDER YOUR ALLIEGENCE TO YOUR UNIVERSITY. YOU MIGHT BE CLAMMORING FOR A CHANGE...
 Bring your vans...
...we've been practicing!
 OUR ARSENAL
A LOOK AT THOSE ON THE FIELD:
Quarterback -
Mauck is better than Campbell. Mauck has won the SEC, has Campbell won the SEC? No?!?!
ADV - LSU
Tailback -
Almost even with slight edge going to LSU because we have better shoes and because our players don't rely on quirky nicknames.
ADV - LSU
Punter -
LSU's punter is Donnie Jones. I don't even know who AU's punter is, except that it's likely he'll get his ass whooped by The Golden Band From Tiger Land
ADV - LSU
Intangibles -
LSU has the edge, it game is at night and LSU hasn't lost to Auburn in Tiger Stadium at night THIS CENTURY! If the game comes down to a hail mary, LSU has the experience, if the game comes down to AUburn losing, Auburn has the experience.
ADV - LSU
Coaching -
Nick Saban has the best hair in the conference, wears mock turtle necks, and is always tanned. Tommy Tubberville has big ears, has systematically changed AUBURN's school colors, and is as pale as a binge drinking Frosh on rush wensday.
ADV - LSU
PREDICTED SCORE!
LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY AND AGRICULTURAL AND MECHANICAL COLLEGE 32
(4 touchdowns, four 2 pt. conversions)
AUBURN 6
(TOUCHDOWN, MISSED PAT BECAUSE THE KICKER WAS KNOCKED OUT THE GAME FOLLOWING A SKIRMISH WITH THE GOLDEN GIRLS)
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 flame Booty Faulked 10/23/2003 - 5:36 p.m.
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